The Gulities
“Not Guilty (Dreaming Of)” by Casey Hugelfink
TOMASELLI AWARD, Winner
DRAMATIC WRITING
by Carlin Feck
No, How it Feels.
Monday.
Nina’s on the couch. The doorbell rings and mail falls through the slot in the door. Nina goes to collect it. She flips through it before throwing it on the table.
Laura enters from her room.
LAURA
Doorbell? Was that?
NINA
Just the mail.
Beat.
NINA
As in “m-a-I-L,” not…
LAURA
Okay! Jeez.
Laura flips through the mail.
LAURA
So, I do have a class today, but just one. What are you gonna do while I’m gone?
NINA
Probably throw a party.
LAURA
Really, though?
NINA
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go on a walk.
LAURA
It won’t be long.
NINA
Maybe I’ll read your mail.
LAURA
It’s a whole lotta nothing. I need to finish getting ready.
Nina moves to flip through the mail herself.
NINA
It’s weird that I’m here on a Monday. It’s like I’m infiltrating your life here.
LAURA
Offstage
You’re not infiltrating, you’re visiting.
NINA
I don’t know, I feel bad.
LAURA
Why?
Entering
NINA
Am I in the way?
LAURA
No, Neen. You’re fine.
NINA
Maybe I’ll clean or something while you’re gone.
LAURA
I, like, just cleaned.
No she didn’t.
LAURA
Only if you really wanna.
NINA
I really do.
LAURA
Ugh, you crack me up. Cause, like, this is literally why you’re here.
NINA
What?
LAURA
What seventeen year old wants to clean the house for fun?
NINA
One who has nothing else to fucking do.
LAURA
What’s something you’re not allowed to do at home?
NINA
I… like. I don’t know. Is there something Mom and Dad don’t let us do?
LAURA
Have a cig or something.
NINA
Laura! No.
LAURA
Sit out on the porch and have a cig. Really, Nina, you could probably use one.
NINA
I’m gonna be a fucking doctor.
LAURA
Okay. So?
NINA
So I can’t be a smoker. It’s hypocritical.
LAURA
No, it’s—
NINA
I have to ask about it. Like the classic ‘Do you smoke? Use tobacco? Do drugs?’
LAURA
But like. If your patient says, ‘No, no, no,’ aren’t you gonna be like, what are you, lame?
Beat.
LAURA
Okay, I’m gonna be late.
NINA
I’m gonna start cleaning.
LAURA
Knock yourself out.
Laura exits.
Nina starts picking up. This trash needs to go out. The bag is so full, fuck.
There’s no way to pull the bag out of the trash can without knocking the can over. This is what happens.
NINA
Fuck. Fuuuuck.
Nina has to clean this up.
She gets almost all the trash back in the can. Okay.
Wait. Something’s left. On the floor. What’s that?
NINA
Wait what the…
It’s a pregnancy test.
I mean, it’s negative, but it’s a pregnancy test.
NINA
What the fuuuuck?
Nina’s holding the test up. Laura comes crashing back in.
LAURA
I forgot my—
Oh, fuck.
LAURA
That’s my. Um. Where did you?
NINA
I knocked over the trash can.
LAURA
Okay.
NINA
And this. Was in it.
LAURA
Yeah.
Beat.
LAURA
And now you’re holding it.
NINA
Why does it smell weird?
LAURA
I peed on it.
Nina throws the test, suddenly.
LAURA
Okay, I didn’t pee ALL OVER it.
NINA
Why do you have this?
LAURA
Do I need to explain?
NINA
No, I mean.
Beat.
NINA
Actually, I don’t know what I mean.
LAURA
It’s okay—
NINA
Sorry.
LAURA
Nina. It’s okay.
NINA
I’ve never seen one before.
LAURA
Really?
NINA
Yeah, no.
LAURA
Yeah, they look like that. You pee on them.
NINA
Yeah. I didn’t realize that you, like—
LAURA
Have sex?
NINA
No, I know you, do that—
LAURA
Have unprotected sex?
NINA
Have the s…theee sex that puts you at risk, of, or that could make you…
LAURA
Pregnant?
NINA
Yeah.
LAURA
Well, yeah.
Beat.
LAURA
You’re uncomfortable.
NINA
No, no I’m not.
Yes she is.
LAURA
We should talk about it.
NINA
What?
LAURA
Sex. Pregnancy. I don’t know.
NINA
No, we don’t have to.
LAURA
Nina, we do.
NINA
Why?
LAURA
Who are you talking about this stuff with?
NINA
I don’t know.
LAURA
You’re gonna be doing this shit in like a year.
NINA
No I’m not.
LAURA
Nina, yes you are.
NINA
No. I’m not.
LAURA
And you’re gonna be a fucking doctor. Listen. I get it. It’s hard, it’s, weird, to view yourself as a sexual being.
NINA
PLEASSEE
LAURA
…and it’s a new feeling to want to be seen that way by a guy.
NINA
STOPPPPPP
LAURA
You know what? I can skip this class.
NINA
No you really…
Laura sits.
LAURA
Ask me a question.
NINA
About what?
LAURA
Anything. You have the floor. What do you need to know before you get it in?
NINA
JESUS
LAURA
Wait, I should, I should grab…
Laura rummages through her bag. The sock puppets. Oh yeah.
NINA
Laura.
LAURA
Just look at them. It’s not as scary if you just look at them.
NINA
I don’t know. If I agree with that.
LEFT
Just talk to us.
RIGHT
Talk to the left. Don’t fuckin talk to me about this shit.
NINA
You’re not gonna leave me alone until I ask you a question, are you?
Laura, Left, and Right shake their heads ‘no.’
NINA
FFfffffuck, okay. Um. When did you take that test?
LAURA
Ummm. Like…
LEFT
Thursday ish?
LAURA
A day or two before you got here.
NINA
So it would’ve been, like. If it were a yes…
LAURA
Mikey’s?
NINA
Yeah.
LAURA
Yeah.
NINA
Interesting.
LAURA
I got my period the same day, though. So I’m like. Chilling.
NINA
Aren’t you on? Um. Aren’t you on birth control?
LAURA
Not, uh. Currently. No.
NINA
Laura.
LAURA
What?
NINA
That’s stupid.
LAURA
You’re stupid.
NINA
Laura.
LAURA
I’m kidding.
NINA
That’s stupid. That’s just being stupid. That’s just asking for…
LAURA
What? To be pregnant? I know, Nina. I’m the one having sex. I know what I’m up against.
NINA
Clearly not.
LAURA
‘Clearly not?’ What, why? Because you found one pregnancy test in my trash can? Jesus, I woke up and felt nauseous, my period was a day late, but then I just got it that day, anyway. I can fucking handle myself.
NINA
Can you?
LAURA
What does that mean? You’re in my house.
NINA
I’m talking to sock puppets!
Beat.
LAURA
I am just trying to help you. I’m just trying to…
NINA
Have you realized that I have never, ever asked for your help?
Ow.
LAURA
That’s not even true.
NINA
I can’t take advice from my older sister who plays with puppets and has unprotected sex anymore.
LAURA
Why are you being so mean?
NINA
I’m not being mean, you just, you scared me. With all this. What if you got pregnant?
LAURA
Then I’d handle it, Nina. I’d get an abortion and I’d handle it.
Beats. A few.
LAURA
I have birth control, by the way. I was on it. I just don’t always like how it makes me feel. The pills are in my room. Look, there’s shit from Planned Parenthood in the pile of mail. So I do actually have it under control.
NINA
What about…
LAURA
What about what? Jeez, Nina, what else?
NINA
What about like. How it would feel.
LAURA
How it would feel? How what would feel?
NINA
The. Having an abortion.
LAURA
Well, I think it hurts depending on—
NINA
No. How it would. Feel.
LAURA
Catching her breath.
Oh, um. Yeah it. It would be sad.
NINA
Yeah.
LAURA
It would be a thing, for sure.
NINA
I don’t know, I just, when I think of you, I think of how it would feel. The feeling.
LAURA
I didn’t know you thought about that at all.
NINA
I don’t know if I do. I just know you do.
LAURA
That’s what you mean by it being—
NINA
Scary. Yeah. Cause I know you’d be upset.
LAURA
I. Yeah.
NINA
So I wasn’t trying to be mean.
LAURA
You still were.
NINA
Okay. Sorry.
LAURA
It’s okay.
NINA
You’re not gonna go to this class?
LAURA
No. Now I feel weird leaving.
NINA
No, don’t feel—
LAURA
If I go, can we like, not be in a fight when I get back?
NINA
Yeah, no. We can definitely not be in a fight.
LAURA
Okay, good. Cause it’s already Monday. We only have a few more days.
NINA
Yeah. Just go, it’ll be okay.
LAURA
Okay.
Laura exits.
Nina collects the test from the floor, where she threw it earlier. She puts it in the trash can.
She rifles through the mail, deciding what to toss. There’s that planned parenthood envelope.
NINA
Under her breath.
Planned Parenthood, umm…
Can she get rid of this?
She opens it. It’s a bill. A bill for an abortion Laura had a few months ago.
NINA
Oh my god.