Next to You

by Carlin Feck

Laura enters. Nina is on the couch.  

Laura flops down next to her.  

NINA: Bad? 

LAURA: Not bad. Good, honestly. Which is, like, worse.  

NINA: It’s not worse.  

LAURA: It’s worse. If we hated each other, it would be easier.  

NINA: No, it wouldn’t.  

LAURA: Yes, it would. I wouldn’t be so upset.  

NINA: You wouldn’t be so upset if you were on bad terms? What are you saying? 

LAURA: I’ll always care about him.  

NINA: And he’ll always care about you.  

LAURA: Exactly.  

NINA: That sounds kind of. I don’t know. Nice.  

LAURA: We talked about everything we’d missed in the last few months. I told him about Mom’s surgery and stuff. And Dad’s job. And where you’re going to college.  

NINA: What were his updates? 

LAURA: Oh, um.  

NINA: What’s he been up to since September? 

LAURA: Uhh.  

NINA: Laura, you were gone for two hours. He must have said something.  

LAURA: No, yeah. He definitely did. I just.  

NINA: Well it wasn’t memorable, whatever it was.  

LAURA: I guess so.  

NINA: But it’s done now. The loop is closed. I’m happy for you.  

LAURA: He asked me if I’d been with anyone else yet.   

NINA: Wow. That’s a little…  

LAURA: Out of character.  

NINA: Yeah. What did you say? 

LAURA: I said, “you probably don’t want to know the answer to that.” 

NINA: So, yes.  

LAURA: What? 

NINA: So you said yes.  

Silence.  

Laura gets up to pour a glass of water.  

LAURA: I don’t know. I feel like we should talk again.

NINA: Again? Really?

LAURA: I don’t know. Now that we’re exes, the next step is being friends again.

NINA: Is it?

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, that’s where I want to end up. As friends.

NINA: Does he want to be your friend?

LAURA: No, I’m saying I want to be his friend.

NINA: Friendship is usually a—

LAURA: A what?

NINA: A mutual thing, I don’t know.

LAURA: Honestly, I’d really like to meet again and recap the whole relationship from beginning to end.

NINA: Why?

LAURA: I think it would be beneficial. Say what worked, what didn’t, what we could have done better.

NINA: You really think he’d want to do that?

LAURA: I don’t see why not.

NINA: Laura, you dumped him.

LAURA: I know.

NINA: You think he wants to get together and talk about why you dumped him?

LAURA: If I ask him to, he will.

NINA: Yeah. I think that’s the problem.

Silence again.

Are we getting annoyed at each other?

LAURA: The problem?

NINA: Laura, what did you say to me in September?

LAURA: I don’t know, a lot of stuff.

NINA: You said you wish he’d argue with you.

LAURA: I didn’t say that.

NINA: You said you wish he’d fight back.

LAURA: We were having a fight. We were in an argument, that’s all.

NINA: Were you? I don’t know. From where I’m sitting, I don’t think you ever had an argument. I think you got upset a few times over the last three years, sure, but he never got upset back.

LAURA: He’s really understanding.

NINA: Understanding.

LAURA: Yeah.

NINA: Okay.

LAURA: Which is why I think he’d want to meet with me again.

NINA: Okay.

LAURA: And I think that’s a valid thing for me to want.

NINA: Okay.

LAURA: “Okay, okay, okay,” what the fuck?

NINA: What?

LAURA: You’re okaying me.

NINA: Oh, sorry. I thought you liked it.

Oh. We’re arguing. Let’s try to stop.

NINA: How is his Master’s coming?

LAURA: Good, I think. We didn’t talk about school stuff much.

NINA: You didn’t mention your thesis project?

LAURA: Well. We talked about

NINA: Your school stuff.

LAURA: Yeah.

Laura sits back down next to Nina.

LAURA: I was a good girlfriend.

NINA: You were.

LAURA: And he was a perfect boyfriend. Literally perfect.

NINA: Yeah. But that’s not.

LAURA: Sustainable.

NINA: I was gonna say realistic. But it’s not sustainable, either.

LAURA: I could ask him to talk again.

NINA: You could ask him to talk every Saturday for the rest of time. You could ask him to get back together. He’d do all of it. Any of it. For you.

LAURA: I. I’m really lucky. For that. I don’t know why I don’t feel luckier.

NINA: Luck’s got nothing to do with it.

LAURA: Maybe I shouldn’t have broken up with him.

Good. We’re not mad.

NINA: You don’t mean that.

LAURA: It was good enough. It was so good enough.

NINA: Good enough for what?

LAURA: Good enough for like. That to be it.

NINA: Like marriage?

LAURA: I guess so, yeah. Mom and Dad had already started dating when they were my age.

NINA: If it were good enough it would’ve been just that.

LAURA: Just what?

NINA: Good enough.

Laura moves in closer to Nina. They take the same deep breath.

NINA: Was it hard?

LAURA: It was really hard. It didn’t feel hard when we were there. We caught up, we fell back in our old rhythm, whatever. It felt harder when it was time to leave. And he’d walked to the coffee shop, I guess, so I offered him a ride home. And I tried to be funny. Like, you know, “I know where you live,” but it didn’t land. Actually, he didn’t want me to drive him home at first. And I didn’t know if it was the thing to do. Like, if we should’ve parted ways at the end. Literally. But I just asked.

NINA: And he let you.

LAURA: And he let me, yeah.

NINA: I don’t want you to think I’m being critical of you.

LAURA: Okay.

NINA: But don’t get back together with him.

LAURA: I won’t.

That was not nearly convincing enough.

LAURA: It would be easy.

NINA: Yeah.

LAURA: Forever. It would be easy and nice forever.

NINA: I think…

LAURA: What.

NINA: I think you deserve better than easy.

The girls are almost frozen. They never look at each other.

LAURA: What about you, huh?

NINA: What?

LAURA: Are you finishing high school without your first kiss?

NINA: Jesus…

LAURA: I’m just saying. You gotta get out there, Neen.

NINA: I’m just gonna watch you fuck up a bunch first. Then I’ll know what not to do.

LAURA: So unfair.

NINA: Well. First pancake.

LAURA: What?

NINA: That’s what Mom and Dad call you. The first pancake.

LAURA: Why?

NINA: Cause the first one’s always a little fucked up. But then, you know. They get better.

They’re slouched now, almost laying. Like sisters do.

LAURA: I don’t actually think I’m gonna ask him to talk again.

NINA: No?

LAURA: No.

NINA: Good. I think that’s good.

LAURA: He’d do anything for me.

NINA: I know.

LAURA: He’d go anywhere.

NINA: Yeah. But he’d follow you anywhere. That’s different from going anywhere.

LAURA: Yeah?

NINA: He’d walk behind you. You need someone who can walk next to you.

Laura moves to rest her head on Nina’s shoulder.

End of scene.